A family friend who'd recently been struggling to look after himself was found unconscious by neighbours last week and rushed to hospital with a bone and flesh infection. He had to have the whole of his left leg amputated up to the hip. He hasn't regained consciousness yet, but imagine the shock he'll get when he stirs. He passed out with two legs and he'll wake up with one; have to learn a completely new lifestyle; have to be explained to by someone he's never met in a language of jargon he doesn't understand that whilst he's been gone his life has changed beyond anything he could have imagined.
It's a shocking and humbling situation, so rare that no one thinks it would ever happen to them. It got me thinking about those things that couldn't happen to me and those which are guaranteed to come upon me, knowing my luck. It made me think, if this was my last day for which I had my life as I know it, how would I live it? Would I turn into one of the craziest partiers out there whilst I still had the chance? Would I submerge myself in a state of mania, do all the things I wished I would then crash and burn when my life was snatched from my sight? Or would I sink into a pit of darkness and ignore the past, focusing on what was to come?
The point isn't what I would do, though and as I've never been put in that situation I can't possibly pass judgement. The point is that we never know what cards we'll be dealt until we look at our whole hand. In a game of blackjack, you wouldn't pick up one of your cards and think game over; this hand can't possibly improve, I'm bust because that's not the way the game works. You pick up both cards, decide if you want another or if you're content with what you have. If you're dealt short with a 2 and a 7 then your choice seems obvious, but an ace and a 7 could leave you gambling with 11 or 1, end up with a large and low hand virtually useless against a 10 and ace or going bust with just 3 cards. At the end of the game it's just potluck- card counting aside- and timing of entering the game. In the same way life is just how it comes. You can't control what you're given and there is no possible way to know which turn the deck will take next. If you want to play at a game of life, you've just got to put one foot in front of the other and step out in faith. In the same way that when you sit in for a game of cards you know that you're letting yourself into a game of luck and chance.
We can't control what we get given in life, but we can control how we cope with it.
I'd like to think that if I woke up after sleeping soundly for two weeks with one less limb, I'd have a time of mourning for my loss, then I'd try and make the best of a bad situation and learn to adapt to my new life. A year ago I would have said something completely different though, and a year from now I'm sure I'll have changed my mind again, but for now I'm not in that situation and I'm thankful for the life I have. I can walk, see, breathe and eat independently and with these abilities I can culture any talents I find on rocky paths. With the lives we've been blessed with, what time have we to waste on anything more than just a blog post to wonder about the what if's and could be's? Life's too short to be wasting away trying to control in our minds those extraneous circumstances which haven't even crossed our paths in life yet- and probably never will be.
Our friend had never made plans on what he'd do if his life had worked out like it has. I don't blame him frankly, I don't think anyone does. But now that this horror is his reality he'll have to start changing the way he thinks, acts and lives. I think things happen for a reason and I think this change has happened to alter the way those around him live their own lives. I think society will need this young man to take the curve-ball he's been given and change his life to give others hope that no situation is damaged beyond repair. I believe he has a greater purpose than just another amputee- I believe he could teach his generation a lesson on how to cope with what we're landed in.
Because the point isn't getting out of your problems.
The point is finding the strength to survive them.
"We are living stories, and we will not give up." - Jamie Tworkowski
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