Eating Disorder Awareness Week 2014

This week (24^th Feb-2^nd March) is Eating Disorders Awareness week. This is a topic very close to my heart, and a very tentative subject with a lot of people. Before I go into this, I need to reiterate that BOYS ARE AFFECTED BY EATING DISORDERS AS WELL AS GIRLS. I personally don’t know that I know any boys battling EDs, but I know there are. Just before you read this post and think ‘why does she keep saying she, guys are affected to’- I know. I’m just not going to make up a sick boy because that would be disgusting. I’m just being honest, and that’s all I ask of you in return.

Over 50% of girls and over 35% boys between the ages of 13-19 use unhealthy dieting tactics such as fasting, purging or taking laxatives and skipping meals (NEDA). Those include children and young people with eating disorders. Those are scary statistics. But at the end of the day, statistics are just numbers right?

Wrong.

Numbers aren’t sat at home in bed because they’ve been banned from moving until they gain weight.

Numbers aren’t denied help because their BMI is over 18.

Numbers don’t cry every time they’re asked to eat at school.

Numbers don’t sit in silence for 50 minutes a week because they’ll cry if they tell their therapist how many times they purged this week.

Numbers aren’t so terrified of gaining weight that they refuse to ingest more than half a glass of water every day.

Numbers aren’t so self-conscious that they haven’t eaten a meal with their family for six and a half years.

Numbers don’t hoard food.

Numbers aren’t scared.

Numbers aren’t sick.

Numbers aren’t.

But I do have a friend, a real human being, who has been on bed rest for 7 weeks.

I also have a friend who cries every time someone at school mentions they’re not eating.

At one point, a girl very close to my heart and my family refused to even sip water because she was so terrified of gaining weight.

I know someone who hasn’t eaten a meal with their family for six and a half years.

Eating disorders aren’t numbers. Eating disorders are diseases. Diseases which account for over 40% of all mental illness. The one most of you have heard of, Anorexia Nervosa, accounts for more deaths than any other psychiatric illness. But don’t kid yourselves that that’s the only deadly eating disorder. They all are. And they’re completely unpredictable. They can affect anyone, at any time, be as slow or as fast-progressing as they want. They can affect you at any weight, any age and any gender. They can kill by malnutrition or they can kill years after recovery due to the damage they left behind in your body.

I’m not an expert on eating disorders. I haven’t even suffered from an eating disorder.

But just because I don’t have one, doesn’t mean I don’t battle them.

I battle them every time I have a meal with my little friend. And every time she looks in the mirror. And every time she tells me she wishes her legs looked different. And every time she tells me she wants to eat. And every time she tells me she doesn’t want to eat.

I battle them when I go for coffee and my friend looks at all the food and talks me through what she ate at the weekend. And every time she cries. And every time she doesn’t reply to my texts. And every time she writes about feeling guilty for binging.

I battle them every time I see that she’s lost more weight. Every time her eyes look a little more dusty. Every time she picks the icing off the cake then leaves it all anyway.

No, I don’t have an eating disorder.

But I’m sure as hell affected by them.

I live in Nottingham. We don’t have a single ED-specific adolescent unit in the whole of the east midlands. Recently there was a girl in the news who’s gone to Yorkshire for treatment and her family have to travel 3 hours each way if they want to visit her. Truth is: NHS doesn’t have the money for illness-specific units, and only limited funds for illness-specific therapies (e.g. body image therapy for EDs). I’m not here to rant about the NHS though. I’m here to say that it’s all very well and good posting a purple ribbon on Facebook, or tweeting with #EDAW2014, but what are you going to do? I challenge you to volunteer for an ED charity. I challenge you to learn more about eating disorders, including those not otherwise specified (EDNOS). I challenge you to educate yourself, to help others and to make a difference.

Because eating disorders don’t go away next week. Eating Disorder Awareness Week is not the only week in which they exist. And just because this week exists, doesn’t mean everyone out there is going to seek help. “We’re not the saviours; we’re the life-boats.”

I challenge you to, next week, post about 3 helplines for EDs or MI on any social networking site.

I challenge you, in April, to out posters up in your school to spread awareness of EDs.

I challenge you, in May, to volunteer for a charity shop for an ED or MI charity. There are plenty, don’t tell me you can’t find one.

But you. You, sweetheart, I challenge to eat something at school next week. Anything. You don’t have to eat it in front of anyone, but something, something very small, I want you to eat it. And keep it down.

You, my darling, I want you to 100% your dinner on Friday, okay? Make me proud, darling. But you know that even if you don’t, I’ll always be proud of you, just for being you.

Sweetie, you don’t know that I know, but how could I not? I’ve known you since you were 4. Keep going now. I love you.

Lovely lady, eat with your daddy next week. Please?

And you. Yes you, reading this, struggling, battling on your own.

You don’t have to. Help is real and hope is real. I believe in you.

I challenge you to get help.

Reach out.

And just try.

Please?